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• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately. |
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| • Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai. |
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• How do u know when kids start to grow up?
Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off! |
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• A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH. |
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• Fill in the blank with yes or NO only.
_______I M NOT A Male.
Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena. |
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| • Paani mein
Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta
hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi
kuch gadbad hai. |
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• Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain |
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| • Mon to Sun, From
Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never
changed. For me, you've always been a headache! |
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• In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day. |
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| • Woman has man in
it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so
girls r always incomplete without boys. |
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| • Namashkar, yeh
hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte
hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye. |
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| • I have started
luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my
feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...! |
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| • Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega! |
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| • Sharab Ek Bimari
hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko
khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen. |
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• Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?
Your bum cheeks!! |
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| • Tum Haste Raho,
Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate
Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha! |
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| • SMS ka sangrah
karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se
sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand. |
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| • I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!! |
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• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.' |
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• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so. |
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| • When I go wrong,
I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2
catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De
Thakur |
| |
| • Today is the
International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to
someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I've already
received hundreds. |
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• So Sweet is ur SMILE,
So Sweet is ur STYLE,
So Sweet is ur VOICE,
So Sweet is ur EYE,
see .......how Sweetly I Lie. |
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• The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai....... |
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| • Geeta Sar: SMS
kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth
nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai! |
| |
| • Just close ur
eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you
will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool. |
| |
| • God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy,
God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes. |
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| • I saw u on road
today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My
heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out! |
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• When words fail... eyes work,
when eyes fail... heart works,
and when heart fails... to kya?,
samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU' |
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| • The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut! |
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| • Geet Ka Saar:
SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka
moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga. |
| |
| • Agar zindagi
main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali,
jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa
gaye! |
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| • Tum sada haste
raho, sada muskurate raho, khush raho, gun-gunate raho, hamesha mast
raho. Mera kya hai, log tumhe hi PAGAL kahenge! |
| |
| • May the fleas of
thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day
and may their arms be too short to scratch. |
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• Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW ! |
| |
| • I want you to be
with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say
those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill. |
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• Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy. |
| |
| • When u feel
lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems
to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist! |
| |
| • Your smile can
be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur
innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the
best. |
| |
| • If u want the
latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down
payment.......log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com. |
| |
• Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
Son: I`m gonna join the army.
Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry. |
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| • Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left. |
| |
| • Sometimes when u
cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain.
Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once... |
| |
| • Think big, think
smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too
much for you, so here is a shortcut... just think about ME! |
| |
• Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose?
Your Own Stupid! |
| |
| • When u smile the
world smiles with u. Wen u r down people'll rally behind u but when u
fart u r alone coz people'll never stand by u! |
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• This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?
Animal Planet! |
| |
| • If u want
success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like
Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart
like ME. |
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| • Sometime my mind
asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my
heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care. |
| |
| • Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals?
A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons! |
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sms 
