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• Teacher: Aasmaan
mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche
deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen
par deti hai?
Santa: Airhostess !
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• Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne ‘Saleya ne Pher cut ti. |
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• Santa: What’s the name of ur car?
Banta: I don’t know but it starts with "T"
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te Petrol nal start hundi hai. |
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• Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega? |
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• Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!! |
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• Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what’ll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister?
Santa’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum! |
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• Samundar de kande baithe han, Kadi tan lehar aaogi,
Kismat badle na badle, CHAPPAL TAN DHOTI JAUGI, So always think positive. |
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• Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night. |
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• Santa went to international cooking contest. When judges came to him, he was moving spoon in empty kadhai.
Judge asked: Kya bana rahe ho?
Santa: FUDDU… |
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| • Boss: I’m giving u driver’s job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ?
Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary? |
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• Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!. |
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| • Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves U. It’s only when U send her virgin. -Swami SexaaNand. |
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• Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!! |
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• Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de. |
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• Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi. |
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• Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de. |
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• Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si… |
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• Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why?
To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not! |
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• Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon? |
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• Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive! |
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• Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him sumwhere.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album. |
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• Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par. |
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• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon. |
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• Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu? |
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• Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar chuke si?
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si. |
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• Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle…
Santa: Don’t worry darling, I'm already married. |
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| • Bante di wife nu
daaku chuk k ley gaye. Sarean ne keha daaku khatarnaak ne, khali haath
na jawin wife nu bachaun. Banta 2-kg Amb ley Gaya. |
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• Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko. |
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• Jeeto: Main tang
ya. Tusi hamesha Mera Ghar, Meri car, mera beta, bus Mera Mera hi karde
ho, kadi Sadda vi keha karo, hun almari vichon ki lab rahe ho?
Santa: Sadda Kachcha.
1 |
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• Santa: Bhai, har roz murge nal roti khaidee hai.
Banta: Yaar, Oh kiven?
Santa: Ik burki aap khaidee aae te ik murge nu paayee di hai. |
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• Santa: Tere result da ki banya?
Pappu: Madam kehndi iss class vich 1saal hor lagna hai.
Santa: Pher theek hai, saal bhaaven 2-3 hor lag jaan, bass fail na hoeen. |
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• Ek kabutar ne Sante te bitth kar diti. Santa: Oye teri maa ne tainu kachha pauna ni sikhaya?
Kabutar: Saleya tu kachha pa k karda hain? |
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• Pappu: Dad what’s Sex?
Santa gets tensed but explains everything.
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school admission form? |
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• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai! |
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• Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain?
Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai? |
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• Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.
Nurse- Kyon?
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE DUGNA |
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• Santa apni girlfriend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jaata hai.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in Luv |
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• Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se.
Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai. |
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• Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet. |
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• Santa's son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain.
Banta's son: How?
Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri ungli pakad lete hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat. |
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• Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga. |
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• Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest.
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest. |
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• What's an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old. |
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• If u call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's younger sis & elder sis?
Santa: Minimum and Maximum |
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• Santa: Main ek eho jehi cheej labhi aa jeehday nal deewar de aar par dekhya ja sakda hai.
Banta: Balle! Ki cheej hai?
Santa: MORI |
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• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don’t know.
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his! |
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• Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye!
Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where? |
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• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. |
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• Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the menu also? |
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sms 
