| |
• Once someone sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry & replied: Bhejnewala gadha, Padhnewala mahan
|
| |
| • Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA |
| |
• Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai |
| |
• Santa apni gal friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love. |
| |
• Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..! |
| |
• Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi... |
| |
• Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se |
| |
• Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne ki kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye |
| |
• In a train
compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai,
tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon,
tumhara shareer to mein kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW |
| |
• Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a traffic cop tried to stop them.
Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin hai |
| |
• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents |
| |
• Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open |
| |
• Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. |
| |
• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am |
| |
• A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya. |
| |
• Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it?
Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good! Bye! |
| |
• At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? |
| |
• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... |
| |
| • Santa was
getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank
poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! |
| |
• Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha |
| |
• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi. |
| |
| • Santa apni
khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein
chalaoonga! |
| |
• Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si. |
| |
• Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio! |
| |
• Banta: U looked troubled, what’s ur prob?
Santa: I’m going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful
Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about it yet |
| |
• O yaar hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan?
Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanu jawaanan di badi lor hai |
| |
• Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chimar gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upaaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ? |
| |
• Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon vadha ditti?
Santa: Break fail ho gayi hai, accident hon to pehle hi ghar pahounch jaaiye. |
| |
• Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That's Tipu's skeleton when he was child |
| |
• Banta: Y did u buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car.
Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car? |
| |
• Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: Taan dictionary vekh ke kharidni si ...! |
| |
• Jeeto: Dekho woh admi mujhe ghoor-ghoor ke dekh raha hai.
Santa: Woh to kabadia hai, raddi pe nazar rakhna uski aadat hai |
| |
• Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai |
| |
• Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI |
| |
| • Santa breaks an
egg to make an omelet. He finds the egg empty. Gets frustrated &
says: Aaj kal murguian bhi abortion karati hain |
| |
• Santa: If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister |
| |
• Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35 |
| |
• Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note' |
| |
• Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai |
| |
• Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto |
| |
• A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend. |
| |
• Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha. |
| |
• Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka. |
| |
• While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here |
| |
• Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye. |
| |
• Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai. |
| |
| • Santa sent a SMS
to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on
his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered' |
| |
• Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai |
| |
• Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat |
| |
| • Santa was
looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves
covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered:
Waiting for autumn. |
| |
| |
sms 
