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• At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey. |
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• Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao." |
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• Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam. |
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• Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions." |
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• Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth. |
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• Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film. |
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• What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi. |
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• Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan. |
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• Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly! |
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• Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga! |
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• Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray. |
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• Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous. |
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• Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking. |
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• Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.... |
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• Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out. |
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| • Petrol ke rate
badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka
bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon." |
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• Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega! |
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• Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment! |
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| • Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394. |
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| • Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?"
Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?" |
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| • Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery' |
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| • Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?" |
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sms 
