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| • Girls Psychology
- Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with
Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys;
Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy |
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| • When I send SMS
to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send
fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also
accepted. |
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• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal. |
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| • Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai |
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• Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de,
Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de |
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• Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN |
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• Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga |
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| • J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi ! |
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• Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?
Munda: Haan
Sharaab?
Haan
Drugs?
Haan
Jua?
Haan
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?
Munda: Haanji, HIV+ |
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| • Khuda kare tujhe
khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend
tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile |
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• Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do |
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• Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It's urgent Cell no & name is as displayed |
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• People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work…make less mistakes,
People who do no work…make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes…get promoted. |
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• What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN |
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• Kya hoga agar Pepsodent waale condom banaye to...??
Hona kya hai? Raat bhar Dishum, dishum...! |
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• Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi. |
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• Ganguly’s Son: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Ganguly’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai ! |
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| • U luv sumone...
u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband &
the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...! |
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• Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai. |
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• Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe; jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe...!
Toh asli Ravan kaun?? |
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| • Ab tak meri life
ek khuli botal thi, jis mein se sab perfume ki tarah ud jata tha. Par
aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko
miley |
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| • Baniye ki wife
bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne candle jala di aur bola: Doc
ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz
candle bujha dena |
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• A boy goes to
see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see
anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad. |
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• A friend is: Who lends you...
Pen in School... |
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• In French: Bon jour
In Spanish: Te Quiro
In Italian: Teamo
In Yugoslav: Volim Te
In English: Good Morning
In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana? |
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• Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map. |
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• An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down. |
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• Astrologer: U'll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.
Frog: When n where?
Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab |
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• Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho |
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• Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna. |
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• Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di |
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| • Monday went on
Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday
that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday... |
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| • Baba ji ka mela
laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi
aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai |
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• Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist. |
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| • Dream makes
everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything
beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth |
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| • It takes 15
trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam.
Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS |
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| • Teri awaz sunne
ko jab taras jata hoon, to ghisa pita cd player chala leta hoon. Teri
surat ko jab taras jaata hoon, to cartoon network laga leta hoon. Waqt
hona chaiye kisi ko yaad karne ke liye, bahane to apne aap hi mil jate
hain |
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• Red Rose: Luv
Yelloe Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Peace
Which Rose for u?
Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi |
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| • Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai |
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| • Thought for the future generation: Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women
happy. |
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• Ek ladka ek
ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd
day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey |
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| • U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network &
Animal planet. Thnx to media |
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• Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya |
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| • Indian Airlines
slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC
doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50 |
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• Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more |
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| • A doting father
used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the
four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep,
he stops." |
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• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper! |
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• Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5
Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if
possible 1 Astronnaut |
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| • Girl's excuses:
Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear,
baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n
very clear |
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• What's the definition of a skeleton?
A striptease that went just too far... |
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• Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte |
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• Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein |
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• Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi… |
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| • Gud Morning...
Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor
mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks |
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| • I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you |
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| • A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it. |
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| • When things go
wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always
remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open |
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• In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n
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, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise |
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• Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?
Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC |
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| • I have started
luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my
feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.! |
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sms 
