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• Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
But girraffe was not eating. Why?
Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND |
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• 1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le! |
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• At a Rly stn a gal cheked her weight-58 kg
She removed sandal-56 kg
Then removed jacket-53kg
Then dupatta-52 kg
Coins khatam.
A baba in q behind her said- Beebe tu kam chaalu rakh, bhaan batheri hai babay kol |
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• Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye! |
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| • Ap ki awaz KOYAL
Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi.
Acha hota agar koi ek cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti |
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• A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat |
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| • Nasha aankho me
hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein
nahin..... Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi.... |
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• Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai |
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• Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,
Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,
Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga! |
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• Teri Maa Di,
Tere Peo Di,
Teri Behan Di,
Tere Bhra Di,
Teri Bhabi Di,
Tere Pure Khandan Di,
Te Meri v Tu Jaan Hai |
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| • Mohabbat 1 bar
ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan
kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi
na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai |
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| • Khuda bachaye
hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon
se... par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se... |
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| • Jab apka SMS ata
hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan kaamp jata hai, dil main
gudgudi si hoti hai. Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator
per hota hai |
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• Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai? |
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• Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain |
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| • Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de! Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho
gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja |
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• Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination?
Salman Khan is coming |
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| • May our
friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds...
and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty |
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• Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!
But gal's father shoul have his own Bar. |
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| • Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge. |
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| • FOOL se, FOOL
ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya 'You are the most
beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS |
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• What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH! |
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| • Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do |
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• What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi. |
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| • I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben |
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| • Three dreams of
a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his
child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects |
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| • Sorry recharge
khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab
kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg
maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar
mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein. |
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• Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon? |
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• Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING! |
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• Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?
A pun is a sudden shift of wit! |
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• A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua' |
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• Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai. |
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• What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear. |
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| • Beauty is not
how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too...
Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily. |
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• Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them |
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| • There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again. |
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| • Ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
ho ho ho... Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi! |
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| • It's the
sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or
anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur
naughty mind. |
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• Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,
Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne! |
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• Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c |
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sms 
